Music

FUCK YES! The slump is over thanks to a musical project I've just started with my good friend, Joel Scheele. We finished our first song in just over a day. Once we have more, I'll announce the outcome we're shooting for as well as the details, and maybe even post a song or two in advance. It feels SO good to be making things again! My words can't do this feeling justice. Again, thank you for your support through all the high highs and low lows!

Crushed

I haven't posted anything in a while because I haven't been able to create anything in a while. I'm really hoping I'll get whatever I've lost back by the end of the month because the absence of a release for all my anxiety and depression is just making things worse. Thank you all for your continued support! When I get back to where I need to be, I'll do some give-away deal as a small token of my appreciation. For now, here's something I made with Photoshop (no, not MS Paint) five years ago....

bullet-proof book

Painting is the path I most commonly take when trying to escape the things in this world that bring me down. I believe this to be apparent in the often sad expressions and always tired eyes of my characters. By the end of my process, I can usually find a way to smile and/or laugh again, and I think that is evident in the goofiness and bright colors in those characters. The feeling I get when I finish a painting and like it defines happiness to me. Nothing I have ever experienced compares. There are times though, when I can't seem to find where that path begins. When life traps me in an angry, hopeless mood that I can't paint my way out of, I write.

While my painting has a mix of emotions, 95% of my writing is simply a release of hate and darkness. Therefore, to protect myself from this darkness, I attached my writing to a black helmet, with black-framed goggles, in a black pack of cigarettes (which symbolize the deadliness of living with hate). Inside, is something very light. Keykey's dumb innocence and often trouble-inducing curiosity, more-so than her majestic coat, make her a truly beautiful creature. I don't want to run into windows when I see birds or anything, but these are qualities that I strive for. I want to push all the bullshit out of my mind and just enjoy life. I really hope to make 2012 another big step towards that goal.

cover

pages

inside

Big ups to Ruben for inspiring me to finally put this shit together and supporting it's creation! Even though a lot of the content came from suffering, the construction of this "book" presented a few challenges that I had a lot of fun conquering.

SUCH good writing!

The following is a quote from the TV show, "Hell on Wheels." The completion of the first season solidified its position as my number one favorite show of any genre.

Reverend Cole: There’s a god, of that I have no doubt. But there’s a devil too, and you know what that old devil did? You want me to tell you about that? That devil, he cut off gods arms, and he hacked off gods legs, and he gouged out his eyes, ripped out his tongue, and left him lying in a bloody heap on the floor. But he left god’s ears so he could hear us down here when we’re wailing, and thrashing, and praying for his help. But brother, there ain’t a damn thing god can do to help us.

Bohannon: What are you saying preacher?

Cole: Just choose hate. It’s so much easier.

"This Will Be My New Home"

This fan of Forest Whitaker is too small to only show part of, so I made the picture of him black and white. It took me almost as long to pick the colors as it did to paint him though. If you come to the show I'll be announcing shortly, you should be pleasantly surprised by them.

"The Day That Steve Martin Died"

I think the new episodes of "The Office" are funny, but I really miss the ridiculous Michael Scott quotes. Steve Carrell plays that same character in everything he does, but it was actually funny in "The Office." I hope he realizes what a huge mistake he's made and goes back soon. Anyways, here's part of my most recent painting...

three months of monster evolution

The past few months have brought about a more dramatic change in my style that any previous years. I may still be a wreck (or even more of one than before), but I feel like the improvement in my work makes up for at least some of that which I still need to make in myself.